You hear about coaching and most likely are becoming familiar with what a “handler” is.
In show business – fashion industry – celebrity making machine world – a handler is common; even in politics there is a controlling personality who will not coach or support, but instead, their goal (or mission) is to control and most likely, if they cannot control they will eradicate.
So how to recognize and differentiate the coach from the handler?
The coach is someone who will fan whatever little fire you have regarding anything. He or she will listen to truly comprehend what you want and will support that. They will be a personality for problem-solving and forward thinking, strategically planning landmarks with you while holding you accountable in a very loving and caring way.
He or she will make you feel powerful, remove doubts from your mind while giving realistic insights and assistance for the structuring of your life, setting the stage where success can actually be achieved. The only thing in the mind of a real coach is your success, the success of your project and your life, in business or even marriage; so the sole focus is the achievement of your overall happiness and fulfillment in this life.
The handler is someone who is either naturally unbalanced, with a deep desire to control another; or it could be a straight up narcissist, with some having heavy sociopathic traits and if so, he or she will only want to control for pleasure, and most likely they’ll begin to take credit for everything you do while diminishing your past accomplishments. Overall it would be a person that comes into your life with a focus on manipulation (emotional and psychological) only to control. It could be someone who says they want “to help” by giving input and insights, but that would only be to forward their own agenda, be it for purely monetary gain – so being paid for their so called coaching services – or they could carve out a “friendship.” But again, for their own controlling and manipulative pleasures.
Depending on what your position in society is already, it could be someone sent (employed by someone else) to “handle you” and in this way, you would be put in line with whatever agenda the employee wishes. Some handlers will just come in and mess up one’s life entirely for both a pay check and personal sociopathic pleasure.
Yes! These characters are a minority, but are fantastic manipulators, so it’s good to know they actually do exist.
In the event you are looking to make advancement, and are humble enough to ask or just accept advice from anyone, be it a coach, a friend, or even a family member, please make sure that you know the difference in behavior so you can scan very closely what their agenda truly is. Observe how they proceed in regard to “helping you out” and most importantly, follow your in-tuition and gut feeling because that compass is a true guide. And don’t worry if the handler tries to ridicule you, just know that, if something feels fishy there’s probably someone fishy around.
And lastly, by knowing the difference one will avoid hiring a handler for a coach. It would be terrible to actually pay someone to control you and very likely, usher you into not accomplishing your heartfelt life goals.
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